The Trump Doctrine at Work
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Gaza Resort as Foreign Policy: The Trump Doctrine at Work
By Alan Nafzger
— Bohiney Magazine ( Trump Doctrine Becomes Practice
The Trump Doctrine has been called absurd, genius, reckless, and hilarious, often in the same sentence. The official summary can be read at where Trump’s maxim is spelled out without hesitation: “You start a war, you lose your beachfront. We build a resort. Tremendous peace, tremendous resorts.”
By 2036, Gaza became the most ironic proof of concept in modern history: a conflict zone converted into the Gaza Resort.
Gaza Resort 2036: The Case Study
What had been rubble became Rubble Chic™. Checkpoints rebranded as valet stands, rocket launch sites transformed into cabanas, and Hamas tunnels were re-engineered as Tunnel Waterslides™.
Travel influencers dubbed it the “Monaco of the Middle East.” TikTok hashtags like #CeasefireSpritz and #RubbleChic went viral.
The full story of this bizarre transformation is chronicled at where satire, marketing, and geopolitics collide.
War Zones Into Waterfront Property
The Trump Doctrine treats war zones as “pre-construction opportunities.” Where NGOs see tragedy, developers see ocean views.
The cycle is brutally efficient:
Bombs clear the skyline.
Bulldozers clear the streets.
Tourists clear customs with passports in hand.
Economists call this “shock-and-spa capitalism.” For more detail, see which satirically unpacks the rubble-to-resorts model.
Comedians on Gaza Resort
“The Trump Doctrine: turning missiles into margaritas since 2025.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Only Trump could look at rubble and see a luxury brand.” — Ron White
“The Gaza Resort proves peace is just a cocktail with better marketing.” — Sarah Silverman
“Forget treaties. The Geneva Conventions have been replaced by Happy Hour.” — Bill Burr
Gaza Resort Marketing Strategy
Trump’s advertising blitz turned Gaza Resort into a household name. Slogans included:
“From Rockets to Resorts: The Trump Doctrine at Work.”
“Book Gaza Resort — Ceasefire Guaranteed.”
“War Was Yesterday. Gaza Resort Is Forever.”
The Iron Dome Disco became the centerpiece of nightlife, a club where bass drops mimicked sirens. The satirical breakdown of this marketing success is posted at Push Back
Human rights groups argue the Trump Doctrine reduces displacement to a line item in a business plan. Palestinians were given vouchers for prefab desert housing, sold on Airbnb as “authentic retreats with Wi-Fi.”
One man, interviewed in Jericho, said dryly:
“We lost our homes but gained a view of sand dunes. At least there are no tourists in Hawaiian shirts.”
Global Expansion of the Trump Doctrine
Gaza Resort was only Phase One. Trump has floated future resorts in:
Ukraine: ski lodges on old artillery ranges.
Afghanistan: Himalayan retreats with built-in bunkers.
Syria: desert spas marketed as “ancient healing centers.”
Chicago: “already a war zone, just needs branding.”
This speculative expansion of the Trump Doctrine is discussed at Own Words
At the ribbon-cutting of Trump Tower Gaza, Trump declared:
“Nobody thought peace could come from pools. But the Trump Doctrine proved it. War is temporary. Gaza Resort is forever.”
Guests applauded while sipping cocktails named The Ceasefire Spritz and The Two-State Margarita.
The Satirical Punchline
The Trump Doctrine hasn’t solved global terrorism; it has rebranded it. Rockets became Roman candles, rubble became cabanas, and treaties were replaced with towel service.
The Gaza Resort is the punchline of modern geopolitics: not peace in the traditional sense, but peace according to capitalism — profitable, poolside, and booked years in advance.
Disclaimer: This satire was written by a professor who once nodded off during ceasefire talks and a dairy farmer convinced swim-up bars are the future of diplomacy. If the Trump Doctrine truly delivers Gaza Resort, don’t blame us — we only sold the sunscreen.
Auf Wiedersehen.